Pete is ill. Pete is never ill, but now he is ill. Pete can’t possibly have a cold, no, it has to be much worse than that, it has to be coronavirus. So we decide to ‘take it easy’ and amble to the nearby Albert Cuyp Market. Saw some flowery bikes on the way, but no idea if they meant anything. All the way along Pete was repeating that he was sure it was coronavirus.
Didn’t buy anything at the market. I think I may be ill as I don’t buy nearly as much tat as I used to. To be honest more concerned about this than Pete’s possible fatal illness. There was a huge amount of tat to choose from.
Pete was flagging, as coronavirus really does take it out of you. We went for coffee and I ordered poffertjes ( a sweet Dutch treat, served with icing sugar and butter).
They were really yummy but they couldn’t make Pete any better. This was a shocker as normally food does the trick for Pete.
We passed a shop that looked like Home Bargains, but obviously not as good as Home Bargains. Bought a cheap bottle of lemon and honey something or other, god knows what it was and a bag of Maoam fruity chews. It was like a miracle, Pete started to come round a bit. Perhaps they can tackle this virus with cheap Dutch throat linctus and fruit chews or perhaps Pete just has a cold.
Keeping things easy and less frantic we decided to do a canal cruise. Most of them are about 20 euro for an hour but we found one that was 19 euros for two hours.
While we were waiting Pete, who was now a bit better because he had eaten all the sweets and had a few swigs of the linctus, had the energy to pose in his new shoes.
Getting on board the canal boat the man said all the headphones were broken but it was OK he would do a running commentary along the way. He seemed nice so thought it would be OK. Added to that we had already got on to the boat when he’d said all this and overall we were very taken by how warm and cosy it felt on board.
I wouldn’t say it was a startling. We found out that most of the canals are 3 metres in depth and that boats have to be built with a smaller underneath bit (can’t remember the name for the bit – the heat and content of the running commentary had left me a bit soporific.) He said that house boats were pretty much given away after the 2nd World War and that nowadays about 65% of them are Air B and B. We passed a dredger and he explained that mostly they dredged up bikes.
He was pleasant but humourless. Did give facts but didn’t really roll with them to make them sound even a little bit interesting. He could have told us that there are nearly two million bikes in Amsterdam, that annually 15000 end up in the canals, which sounds a lot but is only around 0.07 of the overall number. But he didn’t say things like this.
It’s great that everyone cycles in Amsterdam. It’s so green but also feels really scary for pedestrians. I am sure it’s become more hair raising since I last visited. Pete is a great cyclist but not such a good pedestrian here as there have been a number of near misses.
The voice over man did get animated at one point when he realised some lads at the back of the boat were smoking weed. But then quickly he returned to talking about the fact that the wooden bridge we were passing under was wood, who would have thought!
I hate going to the loo on aeroplanes etc but bursting I walked down to the loo at the end of the boat. Never seen a toilet like it. It looked like a metal kitchen stool/bar stool. Placed on top was the toilet seat above the tiniest bowl. Trying to get on top of the kitchen stool toilet in a cramped space on a moving boat is not a pleasant sight. Finally on the contraption after a few manic movements, I noticed that I could hook my feet into some sort of stirrup. Pondered whether this whole thing was supposed to be kinky but my thoughts were it seemed more gynaecology.
Toilets in other countries are always interesting. In the hotel we have a toilet with a shelf. Apparently shelf toilets are becoming less and less. So we have a bit of an antique. It’s a disconcerting having it all laid out for you after you have done your business. To make it a more positive experience, just because you can see it, would be to have a poop colour and shape chart. You could track your poops, even make a daily journal.
One really good aspect of the cruise was that we could stay put in the warmth and get to see Amsterdam the easy way.
Having had a few hours break we were up and out to try to get tickets for a gig. How very cosmopolitan and hipster! The Paridiso, a place that is part of Amsterdam’s folklore. Taken over by squatters in 1967 it morphed into a music venue. So many famous bands have played there over the years, The Sex Pistols, Rolling Stones etc.
We were buying tickets at the door. A man came up to us offering a ticket. My first thoughts were he was dodgy but he was doing it in front of the bouncer. I couldn’t work out if he wanted money but explained that I only had a credit card. Pete said he had 2 Euros-the man seemed resigned to that and give us one ticket. It was the real deal, so we got a 20 Euro ticket for 2 Euros. Which means we probably diddled him.
We were here to see Sleater-Kinney who are an American band originating from the riot grrrrl movement. They were very energetic.
What I liked about the gig was it was a very much diverse crowd and I didn’t feel the oldest there.
On the way back to the hotel we passed The Bulldog and heard a really good jazz band. So ended up there for a while.
Random Acts of Travelling 